Ducks Mahal

So I’m burning dinner and I get a phone call.  It’s the Little Woman, “I’ve got bad news.”

Me:  What?

LW:  Welllll!

Me:  What!?

LW:  Welllllllll?

Me:  WHAAAT?

I’m thinking, it doesn’t take anytime at all for her to yammer on about not using the turn signal indicator when I’m driving or serving up a bowl of serious butt load for not buying the right ice cream or even lecturing me about the virtues of using a wash cloth because I’m a walking dust machine, not that having two furry cats and a dog in the house would make any dust, or even how she hates the stir fry I cook and that we consume far too much meat.

Me:  [In soft tones] What dear?

LW:  I’m stuck in the Houston airport.  The flights are delayed owing to bad weather but my luggage will be at O’Hare when I arrive.

Me:  Wait a minute.  What plane is your bag on that you’re not?

LW:  [Pause] The next flight out of here is at 1:30 tomorrow afternoon.

Me:  Maybe on Continental, but have you checked with any other airline?

LW:  [Pause]

Me:  Honey?  You still there?

LW:  Yep.

Me:  Okay, stick with me on this.  Have you checked any other airline?

LW:  Umm, no.  I’ll have to stay here at a hotel.

Me:  What hotel?

LW:  [Pause] I don’t know.

Me:  Has the airline given you a voucher to stay at a hotel?

LW:  [Pause, long pause] No.

Me:  I think it might be an option first to check another airline and just buy a ticket and we’ll deal with the refund later.

LW:  I might have to rent a car.

Me:  FOR WHAT?

Then I hear the airport intercom over the cell phone like I was right under the speaker.

LW:  They just called my name.  I guess I’m on this flight.  Hmm.  This is the last time I’m doing this.

Me:  Honey, you’re not driving to Chicago by yourself.  Oh, and one more thing, you took my cell phone charger instead of yours.  You’ll have to buy a charger when you get to Chicago.  Ask your daddy to call me so I can tell him which one to buy.  Wuv you.

After I hang up I’m thinking, I can’t die, who is going to balance the check book?