Yaknow, this time of year with Thanksgiving and Xmas and turning leaves and City Hall decorations, all that makes my Yoda get all festivey. But let’s face it. At 53 I’m a shriv. I got no time for a John Hopkins level agony yank about how hip and joint pain has no significant association to weather changes. My hips feel like a custom wedgy. I get this every year at this time. Last year I was in Oklahoma City at a conference and it was snowing and like pain has never been so brilliant.
Old ballet injury no doubt. That’s what I get from turning too many paraquats.
Today, I got up from a chair and it felt like I broke a butt muscle. I was dragging my leg around like Quasimodo. I went on a crampage. I called my wife at work, immediately.
Me: Honey, I want you to hear this. Owwwww.
The Little Woman: What was that for?”
Me: I got a hip hinky.
The Little Woman: I’m working.
Me: Okay, but this pain isn’t official until I tell you about it.
The Little Woman: It’s official. There is Midol in the bathroom.
Me: Midol?
The Little Woman: I’m on my period and it helps with the cramps.
Me: I don’t need estrogenoidal replacement therapy here. I need morphine. I’m in pain. It’s not that kind of cramp.
The Little Woman: That’s all I got.
Me: Okay, is it extra-strength?
The Little Woman: I have no idea.
Me: How many?
The Little Woman: How many what?
Me: Do I take?
The Little Woman: I have no idea, look, I’m in session, I’m working.
Me: Fine, I hope I’m still alive when you get home.
The Little Woman: Didn’t you get this last year?
Me: That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.
The Little Woman: Sorry, I can’t help. Wuv uuu
What do you call a guy who only has two Midol between him and a hip replacement?
All fupped duck.
Okay, you cracked me up this morning (it’s morning on the other side of the world). Firstly, because I have a hinky hip, too (dammit, I’m too young for this!) and I never knew Midol would help! Awesome!! Thanks for the tip, fupped duck man! And secondly, your little woman’s words of wisdom are awesome. She’s a keeper.
Getting a bit creaky, are we? There’s only one word for you, old son – only one word need be in your pain relief vocabulary.
Percocet.
Only – when you get your script – only take half the prescribed dosage, ‘K? Because you’re already a little loopy to begin with.
I don’t have hip pain but 8 yrs. of football (4 in HS, 4 college) plus 15 years of front row (prop-hooker) rugby action has given me some pain management experience. Left knee has had 2 surgeries, it has no cartilage remaining and aches from the OA. Right knee hurts in a different way, probably needs the surgery I had on the other. A combination of 800 mg ibuprofen plus 1 500 mg Tylenol seems to help, along with alternating hat and ice.
Midol might be good. How did it work for you? Percocet will definitely do the trick, I had it post-op and nothing hurt! Can’t keep doing them indefinitely, you know. Have you tried cortisone injection yet? That shot hurts like a bitch, but I got almost 6 months of pain relief. Good luck.
Thanks Dave. Dang dude, you’ve been around the block with surgeries. Not sure, I think mine originated from hitting 236 million golf balls. It’s kind of a major disappointment that we suffer the pains of dedication and discipline for sports and trying to stay in shape. Ah, no Midol. I did get a script for Percocet and am daffy duck but pain still there. Right, last year I also had a shoulder issue the month after the hip thing. The dock scared my mule with that needle. It hurt as bad as it looked. it did help, but had to laso follow up with PT.
Are you kidding me? SHRIV? Oh my GAHHHHH I can’t believe you use that word. Too. Will send you a relevant photo.
This made my day, Thanks. Sorry you’re in pain.