As stated earlier, I’m writing a book.
I.have.to.put.this.book.down. I’m already cross-eyed. Actually my left eye is the goofy one. Like me, it’s been deemed a lazy eye all my life. That’s why I’m a slow reader. Really. I took speed reading twice in my life. The second time in college. My reading speed and comprehension level got worse after the course. I can’t fixate on three parts of a page, collect all the words in the fixation area, digest them all while also scanning the next fixation point. For me that’s like competing in a hot dog eating contest. The first time was when my mother got a wild hair and enrolled me in Catholic School. First day in class the Nun made me stand and read to the class. I was mortified. The Nun thought I was demonic. That week I sat in a room with a speed reading machine and a cigarette stenchful Nun and a very massive ruler in the Nun’s hand secured by a death grip . As (not when) I fell behind on the machine, watching words zoom past from right to left at 100 mph, she let my poor knees have it with that ruler and then took a drag from her cigarette. I knew it was going to be a long day. There was no such thing as Attention Deficit Disorder back in those days. The Nuns knew how to use a drug called adrenalin. Now they give you a pill called Ritalin. Those two drugs are from the “lin” family. They’re the same. And there was no getting out of that room without experiencing pain. I don’t care how good you were, Sister would turn up the speed knowing darn well you’d never keep up or make it out of there alive.
I started a food fight once in the cafeteria at the Catholic School. I knew I was in big trouble when they started building a scaffold and a guillotine.
You ever write a book?
Going into this, my fear was writer’s block. Not so anymore, I can’t slow it down enough. Even if nothing ever happens with it, it’s worth the effort. It’s not an autobiography, thank goodness. You may thank me now. It’s kind of getting a little dark. I may be throwing holly water at it pretty soon to cool it off.
Holly water isn’t going to much for you. Nor is your spell checker because Holly is still a word. But aside from that, GO RON.
I thought he was talking about “holly water” as in Christmas water, melted snow maybe? Since he’s all into Christmas and whatnot.
All kidding aside, I hope you had a nice holiday and enjoy taking a little break from thhe writing. It’s nice to take a breather every now and again.
I have wanted to write a book for as long as I have known how to read. Little did i know that all you really need to do is sit down and start writing. I had always thought you were supposed to outline and do character development and all that other stuff they tell you about in books on writing. How to draw word pictures, etc. No one ever said, “Just sit down and start writing. The story, if it’s meant to be, will find you.”
Hah. Who knew?
I’m glad you’re writing a book. I can’t wait to read it. Somehow, I just know your rather skewed way of looking at things is going to make GREAT reading.
Nuns smoke? That has me reeling…
And yeah, I started writing a book years ago when Boo was first in therapy. No idea where it is now. It was THAT good.