Ducks Mahal

In the biggest way, grande even, I, this man, have everything a man could want. I have an intimate relationship with, as Bossy would say, “Gah.” I have a warm companion. Trust me; this is important to a man who once tried to love ALL the girls. She’s the only. I have good meals. Like because, I’m cooking ALL the time. But if some of you pot-and-pan bucking for primetime Saturday morning cooking show savants gone wild Roma tomato don’t give it a break, this bar might have gone up a few feet in early “0-10.” We just might have to call you out-in a cooking throw down. This ole coon still has a few tricks nah.

Which reminds me, are you going to say “O-10” like you said “O-9” or will you say 10 or just no frills attached 2010. I don’t know. It could be an exhaustive decision.

So what did the Duck Man get from the Little Woman for Xmas? Well, let me start first with what the Little Woman’s mom sent for Xmas. She sent Ron duck paraphernalia and a great cook book. She sent the Little Woman a phallic looking Egyptian artifact looking thingie. My guess is she found it at a thrift store, soon to return to a thrift store. I attempted to exchange it with Suburban Kamikaze for copy editing favors but no takers. I had no idea what it was at first and neither did the Little Woman, but you should have seen the expression on the Little Woman’s beaming face when she saw it. I was all, this could be working in my favor.

This is what it was designed to do.

Now the Little Woman hit the stores in full metal jacket bracketing in on the Target with precision shot for the hubby. And this is what she got, the list I wrote her completely ignored, probably littering the parking lot of some mall somewhere near the swamps of Mississippi.

I got a 4 quart stainless steel pot. I actually wanted that.

I got a “da-kine” rice cooker. No, this is da-kine. You don’t got da-kine? Well get da-kine. Srsly.

And I got this – a vacuum cleaner.

And this thing does R2D2 thingamabobs. Intense. 19 amps to boot. I feel so powerful!!!

So I was journaling with a friend, Laura at Foolery and mentioned I give names to all my vacuum cleaners – always have. The last one was Shelia. This one is Betty, Betty the Bissell. To which, Laura replies, “I’m sure you wore Sheila out. Betty will be very popular. : )”

Now that just sucks, okay!

(Get it, vacuum cleaner?  Sucks?  Oh never mind, you’re a tough audience tonight).

P.S. Now, this one doesn’t own a vacuum cleaner.  Lawrence Livermore Labs has her house quarantined and under seizure because she is growing stuff in there, all sorts of stuff they need to ex-am-in.   See what I’m say’in?

2010 is all about jamming the radio frequency of the young and the restless.