“Your efforts on the domestic front have certainly paid off, Libra. Your home is looking wonderful. Everyone who enters says so. Some unexpected visitors may stop by for a quick hello and wind up staying for dinner. You are a natural, gracious host, not to mention a great cook. Who can blame your guests for wanting to stay?”
***
“When you believe in things
That you don’t understand,
Then you suffer,
Superstition ain’t the way”
Stevie Wonder, Superstition
***
A little house cleaning: Now that I have all this time on my hands, I respect that you don’t and will try to employ the virtues of brevity, as I’ve seen it written, brevity is the soul of wit.
The Libra thingy up there at the top of the page was my MSN horror scope, Wednesday, February 24. Let me set the record and MSN straight regards this astro-prediction. My house was a wreck on Wednesday and is a wreck today. No one has entered this house except me and the Little Woman since my Aunt visited. My aunt has a key and does so to check on us to see if we’re still alive. She’s the only one who knows how to find us. One has to Open a Sesame somewhere along the way to clear a path through the woods to get here.
I am not a natural anything, least of all naturally gracious – I don’t think. I am a good cook. When (if) anyone visits, there is always plenty of wine around and after a bottle couple of glasses it doesn’t take long for me to start speaking in tongues. I don’t call that gracious. I call that scaring the guests. My excuse, I’m 53 years of old and don’t give a care at all for impressing anyone. We don’t have two forks that match in this house, okay?
So if you like getting high on wine and telling funny stories and eating with your hands, I’m your man. There was a day when Letitia Baldrige would have been proud, not now, my hosting skills are shelved. Sorry if I’ve shattered any impressions you had of me. My (one) attribute is, I’m handsome and that’s pretty much it. If you don’t think I’m handsome, I’m otherwise a really big zero.
Round this out with I.am.not.superstitious. It’s against my religion. That is…help me Sister Mary Christmas b/c I did something really weird. I was playing a computer game of Spider Solitaire and said, “If I win this game, God loves me.” I lost. “Wait a minute; I’ll take two out of three for an answer.” Nope, lost again. Eventually I won. God loves me. That was a close call. Apparently God doesn’t think I’m handsome either. The Little Woman does, but only when I ask and thank all things good I have an honest wife.
Do you have a superstition, stepping around cracks, throwing salt over your shoulder, putting your pants on one leg at a time? 
The only superstition I have, if you want to call it that, is I truly, honestly believe what goes around, comes around. So…I just try to do my best and be nice, and hope that it will come back to me, in spades. Corny, I know. But mean people? They have back luck because it comes back on them, as well it should.
I have only one superstition: I steer well clear of men in overalls on Thursdays. Unless it’s cloudy — then it’s GAME ON.
How will BOSSY find her way through the woods to drink wine with you and Mrs. Audubon and eat from your unmatching forks?